As Mrs. Schmenkman likes to say, “I am busier than a one armed paper hanger.”
I think it will calm down a bit after today. I hope.
Creation by Halle
November 23, 2009 at 6:33 AM (Cats and Dog, Friends, Help Me Please)
Mrs. Schmenkman and Capri Deb have a friend who is trying to get enough votes to secure a blogging job. Go here and press vote. Easy peasy. Her name is Suzanne from Chickens in the Road. I know they love her blog, and who wouldn’t want to help someone get a job? You can vote once a day until Dec. 7th. If you could lend a hand, I know they all would appreciate it!
I have a post rolling around in my head about my fun weekend road trip, but I am a little short on time. I will tell you about it tomorrow. But I will leave you with this art that our cat Halle Berry created while I was gone.
She got a hold of my latest knitting and carried it to the kitchen. It was a maze. All wrapped around the table legs, up and over the chairs, over to the bakers rack. You can’t tell very well, but it’s around the arms of the chair.
When Honey picked it up to unwrap it, it was soaking wet. She had put it in the water bowl. Her signature move. How artistic of her.
Honey Has a Dream
November 7, 2009 at 9:15 AM (Help Me Please, Honey, Whatever)
I told you about my dream yesterday.
Today, I’ll tell you about Honey’s dream.
He is dreaming of a pasta maker.
He keeps telling me that that he wants to get ME one for my birthday, or Chistmas,ect.
This is how he justifies getting something into our house that is a total want, as opposed to a need.
Now, you all know I don’t want a pasta maker. For any kind of holiday. For any kind of reason.
Maybe Santa will bring him a pasta maker for Christmas. And bring me something else. Something that I would like to have.
I Have A Dream
November 6, 2009 at 5:47 AM (Family Life, Help Me Please)
Now that the calendar has flipped over to November, my thoughts, as well as all retail decorations, have turned to Christmas. My thoughts are of one thing. The Christmas Picture.
At the beginning of the year, I was all cocky. Oh, I have all year to get that. Our cousin Lindsay married her honey, Robbie, in March, and we seriously tried to get a good one. During the summer, it crossed my mind several times, and I tried to get one at a family function where everyone is usually dressed fairly decent.
And now, here it is the beginning of November, and I have no presentable picture for our Christmas card.
There’s still Thanksgiving.
We have a lot going on for the next week, so posting could be spotty. Have a fun Friday!
I’m all out of chai, I’m so lost without you….
November 2, 2009 at 7:31 AM (Confessions, Help Me Please, Whatever)
The Air Supply song has been running through my mind.
My large stash of chai, so thoughtfully found for me by Capri’s Patt and Deb, is gone, used up. Drank, drunk, drunken. I am back to the unworthy tea bag. Big sigh. Really big sigh.
I can’t see me lovin’ nobody but you, for all my liiife.
Someone help me, help me please
Is the answer up above
How can I ever tell them
This is not a puppy love
Don’t do me like that, don’t do me like that
What if I love you baby, don’t do me like that
Don’t do me like that, don’t do me like that
Someday I might need you baby, don’t do me like that
Show me the meaning of being lonely
Is this the feeling I need to walk with (tell me why)
Tell me why I can’t be there where you are
There’s something missing in my heart
Every night in my dreams
I see you. I feel you.
That is how I know you go on.
I will survive.
I have done it before. Barely. Here we go.
Scarecrow Brain
October 29, 2009 at 6:20 AM (Help Me Please, Honey, Whatever)
I asked Honey last night if he had any idea what I should post about. He was not helpful. He was watching some dumb baseball game. The World Series, or something like that.
Last week, I had a ton of ideas, but I had no time. This week, I have a bit more time and I am wishing that I had written some of those sparkling beauties down. My memory is faulty. To say the least.
I offer you an example.
Just today, I went to Sam’s Club. Because we were out of cream and cheese. I do remember the important things. I bought a few other staples, broasted chickens, lemon juice, kosher salt and apples. Only to return home and have Mousey ask, what do I do with all that lemon juice? Honey chimed in about the salt and apples.
The cooking show that we have been watching this year is called “Secrets of a Restaurant Chef” and Chef Anne Burrell is a fan of the kosher salt. Honey kept saying that we should try the kosher salt. Is kosher salt any different than regular salt? I do not know. So I bought him some. I said Honey, I bought you a little treat! Evidently I said the exact same thing when I brought home the last kosher salt.
I put the new kosher salt in the pantry next to the old kosher salt.
It taxes my brain to remember these things. On these types of days, I wish I could just do this.
Well, it’s not much of a post, but it’s all I can remember.
She’s Gone, I’d Better Learn How To Face It
October 10, 2009 at 8:51 AM (Around Our House, Help Me Please, Whatever)
Just a little Hall and Oates on a gloomy Saturday morning.
Our Windswept Pumpkin is gone. Hence the title of this post.
I was just beginning to love her, and make plans for her future. And name her.
I was leaning towards Patti. Patti Podner Pumpkin. Has a ring to it, don’t you think?
Our neighbor, about 5 houses up the street, stopped by and asked about her. Was she ours? I told him the Windswept Tale. He was so glad to have found her, evidently he had been in big trouble. His wife was mad at him for putting her out on such a blustery day. They take their Halloween seriously down there at their house. They have TWO of those giant, blow up thingys.
Everybodys high on consolation, everybodys trying to tell me what is right for me…. but it’s plain to see that they can’t comfort me. She’s gone.
Loves taken her toll on me, she’s gone.
So she’s gooooooone, oh oh oh oh I, I’d better learn how to face it.
They can never be what she WAS.To.MEeeeee. She’s gone.
I would NOT beg the devil to replace her.
She’s just gone. Goodbye Patti Podner Pumpkin. RIP.
The Fifth Time is the Charm
September 28, 2009 at 6:24 AM (Help Me Please, Honey, Nut Hatch Dictionary)
I had a little problem with my watch last week. Actually, for the last 2 weeks. I have been wearing Honey’s 20th Anniversary watch from Ford. It was just a smidge too big. It was a temporary fix, because the battery in my watch died.
A very solvable problem, if I could just get over to Meijers to pick up a new one. I have probably gotten the last few watch batteries at Meijers. It’s an in and out procedure. There has never been a problem.
This week, there was a problem.
The elderly sales lady took the watch and installed the new battery in record time. When she brought it back, she said she couldn’t get the back of the watch on. Poor thing, she mentioned that it had been happening to her a lot. I tried to snap it back on, but had no better luck. I told her it was ok, my husband could put it back together.
He couldn’t put it back together. He tried his fingers, got tools out, and finally came to the conclusion that she broke something, and that watch was never going back together. In all his trying, he accidentally cracked the face. He said “Happy Birthday, you get a new watch!”
My Mom happened to be there that day and gave me her 30% off Kohl’s coupon. She said it expired the next day. I was going to use that baby to get myself a new watch!
People who know me well could tell you that I have rules for things. Guidelines, really. And some of them, like the laws of the universe, cannot be challenged. Purses, jeans, cream and butter, DaVinci Sugarfree Chai, cats, Meijer Kettle Chips and watches are a few things in this category.
As I set off for our friendly, neighborhood Kohl’s, I had these guidelines in mind.
1. I would like a silver watch.
2. I would like a stretchy band.
3. I would like the Indiglo light feature.
4. I would like all of the numbers on the face. Nana needs to be able to read the watch.
That’s it. I don’t think that is a difficult, hard to accommodate list. Really, I don’t perceive myself as overly fussy.
Right away, I found one that suited me. SEE, I am not difficult!!!!
It was a full numbered face, stretchy banded, Indiglo lit, silver, Timex beauty!
When I tried it on at home, it was apparent that it was too big. I have never had a one size fits all stretchy band be too big. Evidently, my wrists have lost weight.
Well, that sliding watch was not going to work for me. So I immediately took it back. I tried on all of the stretchy banded watches they had. I even expanded my all silver plan to include some that had silver AND gold tone. All were made for beefier wrists. I am a delicate flower. Who knew “Shaq” would have such a tiny wristal area?
I switched guidelines. Always a source of agitation. DEEP sigh. I decided to try for a fold over, metal link band. The sales lady removed 6 links to fit my, in Timex’s opinion, skeletal wrist. It didn’t slide around, it was snug! WOO HOO! I wore it home.
By the time I got home, it was bothering me. The fold over thing was poking me GREATLY. I asked Honey if he could bend something in there because it was hurting my vein. He said NO he could not bend something in there, the watch was not meant to be manipulated that much.
I was going to take it back that night after the swim meet, but after that little drama, it just didn’t happen. I made the decision to go the very next afternoon, after lunch at Mexican Fiesta with my buddies Jip the Farm Dog and Joni, who seriously needs a blob name. Thanks again for lunch, Jip!
I tried on everything that could possibly work. The only one that had the majority of guidelines, did not have an Indiglo light. I bought it anyway. 
I was showing it to Honey when I got home, lamenting the lack of Indiglo light. Maybe once, maybe several times.
He held up his hand, and asked how important the light was for me. Well, I like to use it in the morning to help me find my way to our bedroom door, so I don’t trip over a cat or crash into something, and I like to know what time it is in movie theaters. I told him it was very important to me.
He said “Take it back, I don’t want to hear about it forever“.
Because I live to obey him, I took it back.
He also asked me if I had looked at Target or Meijers? Why, no. No, I hadn’t. I was blinded by the 30% off coo-pin. (NutHatch Dictionary!!)
Next stop, Target. By this time, I am almost willing to settle for a serious breech in the guidelines, if only the dang thing will fit and light up. And if I can read it.
I was pleasantly surprised to find, after a minimal amout of looking, that they had one that met all my criteria! I opened the box to try it on, no more buying a horse with a blanket on business for me. Oh, I have gotten savvy.
It fit, but I decided to buy the one still in the box, because the one I tried on was running, and I had the irrational fear that it would run out of battery next week and the whole charade would begin again. Like “Groundhog Day”. Make a note of that last decision.
I then brought the perfect watch home to live with me. I put it on. It fit like a glove. I went to set it. The pin would not turn more than a number at a time. IT.WOULD.NOT.TURN. I think I screamed.
I went and got Honey’s tools. I was going to make that pin TURN. At this point I had a lone rational thought. I don’t want this watch.
I took that dumb watch back. I tried on the watch I had rejected, because of the whole Groundhog Day scenario, and because I am an idiot. I tried the pin. It turned!
Here it is, “my precious“.
Only took 5 tries.
No News
September 24, 2009 at 7:54 AM (Family Life, From the Heart, Help Me Please, Muggins Q. Mouse)
I have no good news to share. The Sewer Debacle is not looking promising.
I had a post in my mind about my new watch, but that didn’t go as planned. After I exchange the new watch later today, perhaps I will have something to tell you.
I was also going to post a picture of Mousey’s swim meet. Honey did get ONE good one, after extensive cropping. But the swim meet ended poorly, and I don’t mean the score. I don’t know if I need to subject you Folks to another sad tale. Of course, Honey with his mad skillz, did actually catch the disaster on film. If we can figure out how to post it, you can see it all go south.
I have also just realized that I am periously close to The Mark. That could possibly be contributing to the feeling of pervasive sadness and general unfairness of life. Sprinkle that with a heavy dose of PMS, and you might want to visit this blob again in about 2 and a 1/2 weeks.
Go read Big Mama and June over at Bye Bye Pie. They usually make me feel better, and are a much better choice at this juncture. Maybe you will like them too.
OK, that’s enough of that.
A Mind is a Terrible Thing To Lose
September 11, 2009 at 5:58 AM (Confessions, Help Me Please, Honey)
I have been in here on the computer lately, while Honey has been in the family room, watching every baseball game he can find.
The other night I thought I would go and see what he was up to. It seemed like the considerate thing to do. We are married, you know. We’re supposed to do everything together.
When I got in there, I told him that I would have sat down with him if he hadn’t been watching some supernaturally boring nonsense. He said he would change it, cause that’s how much he loves me. I said, nah, leave it.
So I sat down by his reclining form and we had a chat. Because he’s a multi tasker, that one.
I commented that I had heard him making some phone calls earlier. He said he was talking to a cement man (to help us put our poor broken driveway back together after the sewer people come and destroy everything) recommended by a guy from work. Not a cement person, but what do you call someone who does some cement work for you? That’s a legitimate question. I have no idea. A paver? A cement layer? A cementer?
That’s when he told me he couldn’t remember the name of the guy from work. And it was driving him crazy. He said he has worked with him for 5 years and he could NOT remember his name. I sympathized with him. I told him that I had been to BSF (the Bible study) that day, and had talked to many women whose names escaped me. And, while there, we talked of other women whose names I did recall, but could not picture their faces. I also had a lengthy conversation with the assistant pastor of the church that hosts our BSF Bible study. I have been there for 9 years People, have walked by his office 9 thousand times. Seen his name on the door. Had no idea what his name was.
Add this conversation to some of our other topics lately. His dry face, our weight, our sore backs, his insomnia, our failing eye sight, and all the dental work we had this summer. Oh, and have I ever mentioned that Honey drives a Grandpa Gray Taurus?
This is what we have deteriorated to. Just call us Nana and Pops.
