All You Never Needed To Know About My MRI

I had the MRI on Wednesday. I, of course, have no news about the results to share. Who knows when I will get those. But I do have some thoughts about the MRI process. I will share in a handy dandy list format.

1. You cannot eat for 2 hours before the MRI. That meant that I could not eat after 12:15.

2. I was at BSF on Wednesday morning, I do not usually get home until close to noon.

3. I had a very small window of opportunity to eat lunch. I ALWAYS eat lunch. Lets just say I never miss any meal, OK?

4. I was starving. My stomach was growling AT BSF.

5. I determined if I ate right after BSF, I would have a larger window of opportunity to eat. As you can see, I was consumed with getting my lunch.

6. Jip the Farm Dog had some sort of very important errand to run, therefore was not available to go out and eat with me. But she did tell me about her experience with her MRIs, and gave me helpful tips and pointers. It would have been nice if she could have shared this information over lunch, but very important errands wait for no man. Or woman.

7. I had a hankering for a hamburger.

8. I went, by myself, to Checkers and had a cheeseburger, french fries and a diet Coke. I ate in my car. I enjoyed my lunch immensely.

9. I then went home to idle away the next hour and a half. Until it was time for me to remove all of my jewelry and my eye makeup. I don’t know why, it’s their rule, not mine.

10. I drove to the MRI place, filled out their form that asked me many, many questions that all had the same answer: no. And listed any medications taken, of which I am actually taking some, due to my problematic, entire month of March! My usual answer is a multi vitamin. Short and sweet.

11. I read exactly 4 pages of my book before I was called back and taken to a room where I was given hospital clothing to put on.

12. I got to take off my BRA!!! At 2:30 in the afternoon!

13. The nice lady gave me a hospital gown and a pair of scrub pants. I didn’t realize until after I put them on that the pants were above my ankles and too tight to tie at the waist.

14. The tag in the back said they were size large. Size large CHILD maybe!!!! Hello, my name is Capri Kel and I am a lummox.

15. Just when I sat down in the waiting room, in my flood-capri, busting out at the belly, scrub pants, an older lady walked in with her scrub pants rolled up about 4 times! And her waist was bigger than mine! I told her that she had MY pants.

16. The MRI lady came and got me from the waiting room, did not make fun of my pants, told me to remove my glasses and gave me some soft squishy ear plugs. I laid on their table that had padding. I was very glad it had padding. I was worried about laying on a table for an extended period of time with no padding. You know, my bad back and all.

17. The MRI lady put me in the tube, told me to tilt my head back and see that I was at the very edge of freedom, and mentioned that her helper lady would be talking to me periodically throughout the procedure. Evidently, claustrophobia is a really big thing at this procedure. I am only claustrophobic if someone is holding me tight and I can’t move my arms, so I thought I would be alright. I was pretty sure I wouldn’t feel the need to Hulk out or anything.

18. I was fine. It took about a half hour. It was LOUD. I didn’t feel the need to move. I never even opened my eyes. I think I actually fell asleep at one point.

19. The MRI lady complimented me on my stillness. I hope that means my MRI will be nice and accurate. I can now add another thing to my list of good qualities. Good hearing, nose of a hound dog, and can be still.

20. With my ears ringing, I went back to the dressing room, peeled off my child sized scrub pants, got dressed and left the premises.

All in all, a pretty painless process. Except for those baby pants making me feel like a great, big, whale.

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4 Comments

  1. deb said,

    April 1, 2011 at 6:36 AM

    Aren’t you glad its over! Now for the results….

  2. Hat Chick said,

    April 1, 2011 at 6:50 AM

    Glad it all went well. I don’t know what’s funnier….baby pants or that you were excited to take off your bra midday…hehehe.

  3. Laurie said,

    April 1, 2011 at 8:06 AM

    I enjoyed every minute of YOUR procedure! I’ve never had an MRI but I now know exactly what to expect if I ever need one.

  4. Marlene said,

    April 1, 2011 at 2:46 PM

    LOL!! ON THE PANTS. PIctures of those would have been great. You are a much better MRI patient than I am. Fact -you fell asleep???? HOW on earth is that possible??? Maybe it was a good idea Jip The Farm Dog didn’t tell you anymore about an MRI. Then you had NO excpectations. Still the pants part makes me smile.


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