Potent Quotable-Sunday Funnies

I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.
Elayne Boosler

I wanna make a jigsaw puzzle that’s 40,000 pieces. And when you finish it, it says ‘go outside.’
Demetri Martin

I was so naive as a kid I used to sneak behind the barn and do nothing.
Johnny Carson

A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
Groucho Marx

Men don’t care what’s on TV. They only care what else is on TV.
Jerry Seinfeld

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