Mouse Care

I realized a few days ago that today would be October 7. It surprised me actually. This date usually causes sadness and loss of sleep, memories of heartache and regret, and most of all a longing for a do over. I was surprised because it snuck up on me. That has only happened one other time in 19 years.

Maybe blogging about it has helped to sort things out in my mind. Maybe time has a way of blurring the edges. Maybe next year will hit me harder. Or maybe I will never linger in the depths of the melancholy again, although that seems unlikely.

I don’t think anyone in our family recognizes this date. Pretty sure our children are not even aware. Good for them. Honey might know, but he has never pinned feelings on the day.

I mentioned it to Mousey yesterday when we were in the car. She has exactly zero memories of that day, she was 13 months old. Of course she has heard some things over the years. I told her a couple of my memories of the day concerning her. I felt like I was repeating  things I had told many times before, as parents often do, and as children usually endure. I was surprised when she said she had never heard them before. It seemed so strange because it was so familiar to me. I have gone over the events of that afternoon and the days after as many times as I have wiped my kitchen counters. Think about that. Hundreds, perhaps thousands of times.

I have always regretted that I did not keep a journal of the facts and all of the God Things that happened along the way. It saddens me to think I may have forgotten instances of His great faithfulness and new mercies that arrived daily, sometimes hourly. I wish I had it now for myself and my family. It is important for them to know how an Almighty God cared for us in our time of desperate need.

Just like it was important for Mousey to hear how others had cared for her after the accident. There was a point during the chaos after the accident, when my attention was pulled between the state troopers, the firemen and emergency workers, that I frantically realized that Mousey was gone. I cried out “where is my baby!”, thinking the day had just gotten inconceivably worse. A woman stepped forward holding a sleeping Mousey in her arms. “Here she is, she’s alright” she said, as she passed her to me. She had held her on the side of the freeway after someone removed her from her car seat. I am thankful for Teri Hill and the comfort she gave a frightened little girl.

Then there was a woman named Connie whose husband had stopped their car on the freeway. She came to the hospital with us in the police car and had Mousey out in the waiting room. When my SIL Stacey arrived, she walked up to the stranger to find out who she was and how did she know Mousey! One of the smiles of the day!

I also shared with Mousey my memory of the nurse bringing her to me after she had been checked out in the emergency room. The nurse was holding her little hand as she walked beside her, looking so precious in her little red and white stripped Osh Kosh B’Gosh overalls. The nurse told us the doctor said she was fine and added “here’s your Mommy!”.  Mousey was all smiles. I needed those smiles!

Mousey knows that after that day she went home to live with our dear friends The Hostler’s for a month. She has heard about how my SIL Karen kept her some and jokingly referred to her as her Baby Rachel, the name she would have given a baby girl if she had another. Aunt Karen still affectionately calls her Baby Rachel.

It felt good to tell Mousey about some who had watched over her that day. In the midst of our darkest day we saw God’s fingerprints, reminding us that He cared for us, and for a baby girl in red and white overalls. 

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5 Comments

  1. Heifer Lynn said,

    October 7, 2014 at 4:24 PM

    Made me cry. To see the good and God’s faithfulness in the midst of and looking back at a horrific day. One of the reasons I love you.

  2. sajdear said,

    October 7, 2014 at 5:08 PM

    Thank you for the reminder of His care!

  3. deb said,

    October 7, 2014 at 6:40 PM

    Yes, HL, I agree with you. And I am glad Mousey was able to be blessed with these memories. I think one of the reasons you mark this day is because of the vivid memories you have because you were there, don’t you think?

  4. caprilis said,

    October 7, 2014 at 6:50 PM

    When so many would think that God had abandoned them, you always see the ways He was there. I love that about you and it is such an inspiration to me. ❤

  5. Vickie Smoker said,

    October 7, 2014 at 7:42 PM

    Kel, thank you for sharing this memory with Mousey and the rest of us! As our attention was focused so much on Ab-Cat, I really didn’t know about those who cared for your baby. Even though you didn’t chronicle that period of your life, you have shared so much of God’s goodness to you in the intervening years. We know He was with you at that time as well.


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