Honestly Scrapped

Hey, guess what? I was given another award!

It’s from Steph, over at Just in case you’re wondering.She is a very cool Gal! She has many, many balls in the air, and she still takes time to blob! I am certain that I was not as evolved when I was at her stage in life. She has goals. And is intentional and curious. And has a sharp, inquisitive mind. She is throwing some of those balls in the air herself.

I’m pretty sure  that when I was her age I was just standing there with my catchers mask on. And my mitt up in the air over my head. Not trying to actually catch the balls, just trying to protect myself  from falling balls!

Enough with the ball examples. The search engine is going to send me undesirables.

What I need to do now is tell you 10 honest things about myself. Oh, and show you this nifty sign. And nominate someone else.

I try always to be honest, so don’t think I’ve just been stringing you all along. But I guess I will share true things that have not come up in conversation before. By the end of this, you may be feeling like you would have liked me to have kept it to myself.

Here’s the nifty sign. Kind of looks like Honest Crap. I use that word a LOT. It’s a good word.

                      

1. When we were growing up, Beeve and I were not allowed to say the word “crap”. My Mother had a severe problem with that word. When I was no longer living in her home, I honed my use of the word. I may have desensitized my Mother to the word. I have now lived long enough to hear my Mother SAY  the word. It’s the circle of life, my friends.

2. My hair has not existed in it’s natural color state since I was in the 10th grade. Well  before I was a professional hairdresser. It would appear that I always had those tendencies. It has usually been some shade of red. Occasionally, highlighted blond. I get a brief glimpse every 4 to 5 weeks of what it would actually look like. Right before I color it. It isn’t pretty.

Here is a little clue for you. Follow if you can. My hair has always had a lot of body and had a few waves. I could do whatever I wanted with it. It was great hair. As I became grey, I noticed that my grey hair was curly. Fast forward to now. My hair is super curly. I can’t do anything with it in humidity. It has a mind of it’s own. Plus, I have observed, that I have a Lily Munster streak of BOLT white on the right side. Guess who will most likely never see their natural hair color ever again?

3. If you ever play Taboo, Oodles, or games with random trivia involved? You are going to want me on your team. I am a fountain of useless information.

4. When I was in the 11th grade, our class at school had to take a trip to a camp that I don’t recall the name of. Let’s just call it Hell Camp for now. I think it was supposed to promote unity within our class. I am pretty sure that I returned even more unified with the People that I was already united with. I remember C things from this momentous adventure. 

A. About a million kids got hurt playing all the teamwork building sports they MADE us play. Not me, cause GET REAL, I did everything I could to not fully participate. How long have you known me?

B. They made us say Colossians 3:23 before we were allowed to eat. I still remember it. Now you know my priorities. “And whatsoever you do, do it HEARTILY, as to the Lord, and not unto men” I’m feeling a little breakfast-y.

C. OK, I’m really outing myself on this one. I don’t remember how they arranged all of our sleeping accommodations, but I ended up being separated from my friend Laurie. They would let us all have a tiny speck of spare time just before lights out to visit. It was probably the only time in the whole day that no one was barking orders at us.

 I remember that we were both up on the top of her bunk when the lights went out. We probably broke 402 of their rules at that moment. So you know we got tickled and were laughing. And since she was, and remains, one of the funniest girls I have ever known, we were on the verge of getting busted. All I could hear was the sound that comes out of your throat when you are silently laughing, that ah ah ah, little puffs of breath. And People, I wet my pants. Just a little.

It had never happened before, and has never happened since. Probably why it stands out in my museum of recollection.

P.S. You should go and visit Laurie. She is still hilarious, and her writing actually HAS a point. She has a book in there somewhere. I love her much-ly.

4. I don’t know why God puts up with me. He does all these amazing things for me, and shows me that He is actively working in my life. And still, I am a disobedient, procrastinating, prideful, black hearted, talk myself out of the right answer, leaning on my own understanding,  stiff necked Israelite.

5. I have imaginary conversations with those who are driving me CRAZY. I eviscerate them with my rhetoric. Then I feel better. If the conversations keep happening, as they frequently do during a certain week of the month, I ask Honey to pray for my mind to shut off. The prayers of Honey availeth much.

6.God always places one or two of these people that elicit the conversations in my life. I know I’m supposed to mastering something here. I am failing. Time and time again.

7. I love Baklava. It could be a problem if I am not firm with myself.

8. I like the smell of coffee, but not the taste. It smells like company. 🙂  It tastes burnt. 😦

9. I got a ticket last month for driving through a yellow light. In the town where we live, that is a travesty! Our town is known for rude, thoughtless drivers that regularly run red lights, because where they are going is so much  more important that where you are going.

I think the police officer felt bad, because he told me to go to the courthouse to get the points taken off.  In my defense, I went through on yellow, and HELLO, it’s a judgement call if I am in the position to slam on my breaks, going 45 miles an hour when no one was waiting to turn left, and if I should cause the wheelchair to clunk around in the back and throw The Ab-Cat all off balance. A JUDGEMENT CALL! 

Kind of like last year when Scooter, the Little Baby Police Officer pulled me over for not coming to a complete stop when exiting a private drive at 10:00 at night when there was NOT ONE CAR visible for miles. He must have been hiding somewhere. In the Kohl’s private parking lot. I know, I know, I broke the law. Hush.

10. Remember when the Titanic came out and everyone was all “OH, I love that Celine Dion song, I could listen to it forever !” and then a few months later everyone was all “If I hear “My Heart Will Go On” again I am going to pull off my arm and beat myself to death with it!!”  Remember that? Well, I never got tired of that song. Never once changed the station. What does that say about me? I just don’t know.

Thanks for listening to all of my truth. I just noticed that I have 2 number 4’s. Lucky YOU!

 Now I will nominate three others. Who should be quite entertaining.

Mrs. Schmenkman, over at Sassy Cat Hill. Because she is all about the blogging lately, since she had her car accident and all.

Marlene from Thoughts and Meditations, I am quite sure that she can think of 10 honest things!

And Laurie over at All in a  Day’s Flight. She is probably wishing she was not a co-star in #4 !!

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I’d Like To Thank the Academy…..

lemonadeaward

I have been given an award!!! From FringeGirl over at The Domestic Fringe. She was handing them out all over the place!

When I read her comment to come on over and pick it up, I was overwhelmed with curiosity and fear.  A potent combination, I must say.

 The curious part is self-explanatory. The fear part is  because, People, I don’t know what I am doing! And I am going to have to e-mail poor FringeGirl 70 X 7 times to make sure I do it right, and don’t leave anything out, and clarify this and that, and then she’ll be sorry that she left me an award. I will be so sad 😦   And I will never receive another award, ever, for as long as I live. The End.

Nah, she was really patient with me!

We are a little unsure if the meaning of the award is:

A. The person knows how to take lemons and make lemonade. Or

B. We are sour and tart and we need some sugar to sweeten us up.

I don’t think that B applies to either of us. So I am going to say that we are both good at using up surplus lemons.

I also offered her the suggestion that perhaps the Lemonade Award was given to her because she is refreshing. Which she definitely IS!

 I highly recommend her, due to the diversity of topics. Eeyores, poop soap, her desire for belly bling,  food and her new BFF Feona, as well as her touching tribute after the loss of her Grandmother. She is the real deal.

I am now supposed to nominate someone else for the award! Can I have the envelope please?

It’s Shannon over at Take the Automatic 7 !

Cause she also has extensive knowledge of making  lemonade! And she is also a very refreshing Girl, and an expert SongSlayer.

Thanks, FringeGirl! That wasn’t so hard!